Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
