i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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