I'm going to jail i love you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
