its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
