I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
