i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
