Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
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