Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
