Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
