Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
