Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
