Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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