im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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