Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You left your phone here
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