haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
