I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize