I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
