Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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