Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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