I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
