he wants to bone in the snuggie
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
