:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
