I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize