I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
