Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
