lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
