The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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