how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
