just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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