sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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