this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Let's paint friendship bongs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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