i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
