Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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