i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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