try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm just crazy horny about you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
