its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
