I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
