dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize