Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
