The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im holly from the hills drunk
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
