to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
