i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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