if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
