Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
