I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
