Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Enjoy the penises
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
