That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
