Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
