Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Panties = found
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
