In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
