Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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