Whod you bang
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
