I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
