just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
