alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
