Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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