he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
