Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
