i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
