The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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