This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
