porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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