Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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