my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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