I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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