Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
